


Welcome To The Snowpiercer Dorm!

by AstrologicalGem



Category: Snowpiercer (TV 2020)
Genre: Chat Fic AU, College AU, F/F, F/M, M/M, Multi, Polyamory, Sex Jokes, i don't know how it ended up like this whoopsy, this is some really gay shit
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-17
Updated: 2021-03-04
Packaged: 2021-03-05 03:47:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 16
Words: 5,826
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25337866
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AstrologicalGem/pseuds/AstrologicalGem
Summary: wishiwaswelding created Snowpiercer Dormwishiwaswelding: Good morning!missaofthenight: ew melanie
Relationships: Andre Layton/Josie Wellstead, Jinju Seong/Bess Till, Melanie Cavill/Javier "Javi" de La Torre/Bennett Knox, Miss Audrey/Zarah Ferami, Ruth Wardell/Lilah Folger/Robert Folger
Comments: 8
Kudos: 48





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Melanie Cavill-wishiwaswelding
> 
> Ruth Wardell-imadignitary
> 
> Andre Layton-tailieandproud
> 
> Bennett Knox-bennyboy/bengineer
> 
> Javi de la Torres-nofraternizinging
> 
> Bess Till-fightforurfrigginmeat
> 
> Jinju Seong-oceanlover
> 
> Miss Audrey-missaofthenight
> 
> Josie-jojojosie
> 
> Zarah Ferami-livesomanylives

wishiwaswelding created Snowpiercer Dorm

wishiwaswelding: Good morning!

missaofthenight: ew melanie

tailieandproud: why

nofraternizing: what makes this a good morning

bennyboy: Better yet, why is this my name?

imadignitary: Good morning!

fightforurfrigginmeat: ew. god no. it is 9 am. 

jojosie: I agree with Layton

wishiwaswelding: I'm trying to be positive goddamnit

tailieandproud: well you're failing

jojojosie: agreed

nofraternizing: ^^^

imadignitary: I appreciate the effort, Melanie. 

bennyboy changed his name to bengineer

bengineer: Better

wishiwaswelding: Goddamnit Ben 

jojojosie: watching you two talk is like watching an old married couple

wishiwaswelding: M A R R I E D?

wishiwaswelding: EW NO WHY WOULD YOU SSSSSAY THAT

wishiwaswelding has left the chat

imadignitary: Melanie just lost her shit laughing so she's not upset

tailieandproud: oh cause we're so worried about that

imadignitary: Oh, shut up, just cause she's a hospitality major doesn't mean she doesn't have feelings

nofraternizing: guys it's too early to fight please shut the fuck up

nofraternizing added wishiwaswelding

wishiwaswelding: I'm still not over the married comment

wishiwaswelding: But either I talk with you all or I have to talk with the Folgers

wishiwaswelding: And Lilah is pissed at me again

tailieandproud: bitch

wishiwaswelding: I know, right?

tailieandproud: i meant you

imadignitary: Annnnd that about sums up the morning! Mel, don't you have class? And Layton, isn't your brother calling?

wishiwaswelding: Shit

tailieandproud: shit

wishiwaswelding left the chat

tailieandproud left the chat

nofraternizing: wait @bengineer do we have class

bengineer: Motherfucker

nofraternizing left the chat

bengineer left the chat

imadignitary: Well, it seems it's just us now :)

jojojosie left the chat

missaofthenight left the chat

fightforurfrigginmeat left the chat

imadignitary: Rude.

imadignitary left the chat

bengineer created prof wilford can kiss my ass

bengineer invited wishiwaswelding and nofraternizing

wishiwaswelding: Fuck yeah

nofraternizing: best title

wishiwaswelding: Wait can I add something

bengineer: Sure

wishiwaswelding changed prof wilford can kiss my ass to prof wilford and the hospitality bitches can kiss my ass

wishiwaswelding: Better now

nofraternizing: you still haven't told them??

wishiwaswelding: Why would I at this point, Ruth just thinks we have class at different times

bengineer: I agree with Melanie

bengineer: But also seriously we have class

nofraternizing: fuck

wishiwaswelding: It's bold of you to assume that I did not run

nofraternizing: you're wearing heels though???

wishiwaswelding: Exactly

nofraternizing: you ran to class??

bengineer: I wouldn't doubt it

wishiwaswelding: I did

bengineer: Melanie's making the rest of us look bad

nofraternizing: she is

wishiwaswelding: Oh, fuck off

wishiwaswelding: Stop texting and get to class, I'm bored without you guys

nofraternizing: yes ma'am

bengineer: Melanie Cavill, bored? Never

wishiwaswelding: I'm choosing to ignore that and am waiting for Javi

bengineer: Do I no longer exist or? >/p>

wishiwaswelding: Get to class and see :)

nofraternizing: oh my god stop flirting

wishiwaswelding left the chat

bengineer left the chat

nofraternizing: i see how it is

nofraternizing left the chat


	2. A B i s e x u a l

Snowpiercer Dorm

imadignitary: Good afternoon!

jojojosie: Ruth, stop

tailieandproud: what Josie said

wishiwaswelding: For once I agree with them

tailieandproud: damn, Melanie

wishiwaswelding: What?

tailieandproud: nothing

tailieandproud: just aren't you two like roomates or something

wishiwaswelding: No, we aren't 

imadignitary: We were supposed to be but there was an error

wishiwaswelding: Mhm

jojojosie: how ironic

missaofthenight: "error" whatever you say Melanie

wishiwaswelding: And what is that supposed to mean?

missaofthenight: oh, nothing

fightforyourfrigginmeat: fifbdonfksnd

tailieandproud: ?

missaofthenight: ??

wishiwaswelding: ???

fightforurfrigginmeat: w o m e n 

tailieandproud: oh mood

wishiwaswelding: Oh, which woma/en?

fightforurfrigginmeat: this girl i ran into at the coffee shop

fightforurfrigginmeat: her name is Jinju and she's beautiful

wishiwaswelding: Oh I know her

fightforurfrigginmeat: and you didn't t e l l me??

wishiwaswelding: Well in my defense

wishiwaswelding: I never looked at her like that cause well. She's a friend

tailieandproud: and cause you've got the hots for Bennett

wishiwaswelding: Shut the fuck up

tailieandproud: oh, you know you love me

wishiwaswelding: Not right now I'm not!

wishiwaswelding: ANYWAYS yeah I can give you her number if you want, Till

fightforurfrigginmeat: will you??

wishiwaswelding: Sure.

imadignitary: Wait, going back to the Melanie likes Ben thing

imadignitary: Didn't I see you sneaking out of him and Javi's room once?

tailieandproud: oooo Melanie

wishiwaswelding: I wasn't sneaking out and also we were up watching Avatar

imadignitary: You've never mentioned Avatar a day in your life

wishiwaswelding: Oh my god, who cares if I was sleeping with Bennett?

bengineer: We're sleeping together again?

wishiwaswelding: Apparently so. 

bengineer: Then I have a name change to make :)

bengineer changed his name to foxyknoxy

wishiwaswelding: Can I divorce someone if I never married or dated them? Asking for a friend

Tail

tailieandproud added missaofthenight, fightforurfrigginmeat, and jojojosie

tailieandproud: now we can talk shit about the others

jojojosie: amazing.

fightforurfrigginmeat: wonderful, 10/10

tailieandproud: anyways so Ben and Melanie are definitely a thing they were holding hands one day

jojojosie: called it, Javi owes me money now

Prof Wilford and the hospitality majors can kiss my ass

nofraternizing: so are you two really a thing

foxyknoxy: Hell no

wishiwaswelding: Oh god no

wishiwaswelding: It pissess off Ruth whenever we act like we're dating

nofraternizing: great, my 20$ are safe

foxyknoxy: W h a t

wishiwaswelding: I am worth more than that!

foxyknoxy: Yes you are

nofraternizing: next time we'll up the bet

wishiwaswelding: ...okay fine

wishiwaswelding: Anyways, Ben, you should come here cause I need someone to zip up my dress and Ruth is off doing god knows what

foxyknoxy: On my way

nofraternizing: you could've zipped yourself up??

wishiwaswelding: Oh, god no

wishiwaswelding: Actually we should make that a thing

wishiwaswelding: A self zipping dress

nofraternizing: please read that and then think really hard about what that says


	3. Waffle House at 2 AM

Snowpiercer Dorm

wishiwaswelding: It is two am and I am ready to party

missaofthenight: melanie cavill, wanting to party? who took your brain out

wishiwaswelding: Oh, shut up. 

missaofthenight: make me 

tailieandproud: it is two am in the morning will y'all sleep already

foxyknoxy: Why would we be asleep at two am?

wishiwaswelding: Ben is right

nofraternizing: yeah I agree with Ben and Mel

tailieandproud: why are y'all awake? 

wishiwaswelding: Why are you? 

tailieandproud: answer the question

wishiwaswelding: I was up helping Ben and Javi with engineering things, I do know how to weld you know. 

foxyknoxy: All you did in high school was try and weld bobby pins together. 

tailieandproud: okay then

tailieandproud: and to answer your question, I was awake watching Sherlock

tailieandproud: I've gotten good at solving the mysteries

wishiwaswelding: Okay now I feel like I can be honest

wishiwaswelding: I was at Waffle House with Ben and Javi

foxyknoxy: Yeah, this is what happens when no one can sleep

nofraternizing: we made a jelly bridge 

wishiwaswelding: It worked and we could lower it and raise it

tailieandproud: I

missaofthenight: oh my god

fightforurfrigginmeat: go the FUCK to sleep already will you

missaofthenight: i honestly want to know what the fuck you engineer kids do

wishiwaswelding: It's not just the engineer kids, I do it too

tailieandproud: what the fuck do you keep in your pockets like really

wishiwaswelding: Honestly not that much. Just weird stuff

wishiwaswelding: I'd be more concerned as to what I keep on my computer

missaofthenight: porn

tailieandproud: porn

nofraternizing: porn??

wishiwaswelding: I

wishiwaswelding: I meant computer software

wishiwaswelding: And I am confused as to why you all would think I would have porn on my computer

nofraternizing: i mean

tailieandproud: you could be a pornstar and none of us would know

foxyknoxy: I can confirm the only stuff on her computer is school stuff, software, and embarrassing pictures of us

nofraternizing: damn

tailieandproud: ngl I was excited for a moment there

missaofthenight: i thought there was blackmail potential

missaofthenight: wait i do have blackmail material

missaofthenight: melanie, didn't you sleep with professor wilford? 

wishiwaswelding: I never slept with him. 

foxyknoxy: Can confirm that

tailieandproud: sleeping with a professor, Melanie? low, even for you

wishiwaswelding: I never fucking slept with him. 

wishiwaswelding: He hit on me running into me once and I told him to go fuck himself. 

wishiwaswelding: And the Folgers spread that when they found out.

wishiwaswelding: So no, I never slept with him.

wishiwaswelding: Does that quell your rumor, Audrey?

missaofthenight: ...mhm

wishiwaswelding: I'm going to go now.

wishiwaswelding: Goodnight. 

wishiwaswelding left the chat

tailieandproud: well damn

foxyknoxy: You guys really fucked up

nofraternizing: yeah

tailieandproud: well how was I supposed to know that?

missaofthenight: she'll get over it

foxyknoxy: Whatever you say, I guess.

missaofthenight: well i do say. she'll get over it because she always does

fightforurfrigginmeat: I SAY IT AGAIN, GO THE FUCK TO SLEEP

tailieandproud: not at all the time Bess


	4. fook off ruth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oh Boy You Fucked Up

Snowpiercer Dorm

imadignitary: Good morning!

tailieandproud: no, Ruth

missaofthenight: i'm supposed to be sleeping and yet here we are

nofraternizing: mornings are rough

imadignitary: ...usually Melanie has said something by now, where is she?

foxyknoxy: She left last night

imadignitary: What did you all do??

tailieandproud: well

missaofthenight: well

nofraternizing: she's upset for a good reason 

imadignitary: ???

foxyknoxy: They were talking about rumors and one of them happened to involve Melanie

foxyknoxy added wishiwaswelding

wishiwaswelding: Good morning.

missaofthenight: ..sorry, Melanie

wishiwaswelding: It’s fine.

tailieandproud: oh yeah guys Miles says hi to everyone

tailieandproud: even the ones he doesn’t know, he just says to say hi to my college friends

imadignitary: Tell him we all say hi back :)

wishiwaswelding: Yeah, what she said

jojojosie: Tell him I said hi and I miss him!!

missaofthenight: yes, what josie said

foxyknoxy: Ruth

foxyknoxy: Are you running across campus???

imadignitary: No?

imadignitary: I did just watch Melanie run out of the room though 

imadignitary: ...did you just confuse me with your girlfriend???

foxyknoxy: No but now that you mention that it makes sense

wishiwaswelding: I'm not running across campus anymore

wishiwaswelding: I was, but then someone stopped me

wishiwaswelding: Hey Layton isn't your ex girlfriend named Zarah

tailieandproud: yeah?? why do you ask??

wishiwaswelding added livesomanylives

livesomanylives: uh, hi

tailieandproud: ...Zarah? 

livesomanylives: layton. hi

jojojosie: zarah, hi

prof wilford and the hospitality majors can kiss my ass

wishiwaswelding changed prof wilford and the hospitality majors can kiss my ass to I fucked up didn't I

wishiwaswelding: Read the title

nofraternizing: oh you definitely did

foxyknoxy: Definitely.


	5. shots shots shots

Snowpiercer Dorm

wishiwaswelding: This is awkward and I apologize. 

tailieandproud: no shit sherlock

livesomanylives: I can go, if it's too awkward

wishiwaswelding: No you're okay!

imadignitary: Please god stay, there's not a lot of women

nofraternizing: hi random person

livesomanylives changed her name to catlady

catlady: hi other random person

wishiwaswelding: This is Zarah, she's nice

nofraternizing: well i'm Javi 

catlady: hi

missaofthenight: zarah!!!!!!

catlady: audrey!!!! 

tailieandproud: Melanie i'm standing outside of the cafe, come talk to me

wishiwaswelding: ...that sounds like a bad idea

wishiwadwelding: So I'm just going to drink the rest of my coffee. 

tailieandproud: you do realize i can come inside right

wishiwaswelding: Yes, however, as stated in Phineas and Ferb

imadignitary: ???

wishiwaswelding: I will have trapped you by societal convention. 

jojojosie: oh shit

foxyknoxy: Oh god

tailieandproud: okay that is uncalled for

nofraternizing: agree with Layton on this one

imadignitary: Who is Phineas and who is Ferb??

catlady: oh my god

jojosie: jesus christ ruth

tailieandproud: you've never seen Phineas and Ferb??

imadignitary: Never.

wishiwaswelding: So who wants to have a party and watch Phineas and Ferb

catlady: me

jojojosie: me

missaofthenight: constantly

tailieandproud: sure

wishiwaswelding: Hell yeah

nofraternizing: some hot woman just walked into class and i can't figure out why she's here

nofraternizing: oh wait it's just Melanie

tailieandproud: Javi i have never been so proud

imadignitary: Rude! Melanie is really pretty

imadignitary: In like

imadignitary: A friend way

nofraternizing: i mean, sure whatever fruits your loops

nofraternizing: but i've held her hair back while she was sick after doing body shots

nofraternizing: so she's basically just my friend

wishiwaswelding: I don't know whether to be offended or concerned

wishiwaswelding: So I'm just gonna go

imadignitary: Wait Melanie why do you have class with Javi?? Isn't he an engineer??

wishiwaswelding: Well you see we have calculus together

nofraternizing: mhn

nofraternizing: calculus

nofraternizing: is that why you calculust for ben

wishiwaswelding: I

imadignitary: Oh my god

foxyknoxy: Okay that was a good one

wishiwaswelding: Ben isn't even in calculus with us!

nofraternizing: oh 

nofraternizing: fuck whoops


	6. one(1) braincell

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> wishiwaswelding: Do birds work for the government?

wishiwaswelding: Are we sure birds don't work for the government??

tailieandproud: yes

nofraternizing: not exactly

missaofthenight: very sure

wishiwaswelding: Well thank god for that

missaofthenight: wait clay says to tell you pigeons work for the government

catlover: pigeons definitely work for the government

tailieandproud: pigeons are assholes

imadignitary: I mean, they're not wrong

wishiwaswelding: Well then.

wishiwaswelding: I'm honestly more confused than I was before but I have a boyfriend to make out with so

wishiwaswelding left the chat

missaofthenight: FKFHSOD W H A T

tailieandproud: ?????

nofraternizing: this is my cue to leave the room i think

imadignitary: What the actual hell.

catlover: i feel like i should be more concerned than i actually am

catlover: or at least confused??

catlover: someone explain

tailieandproud: @javi this is your turn now :)

nofraternizing: well

nofraternizing: none of us have any idea who her boyfriend is 

nofraternizing: i mean i have my ideas considering the situation

nofraternizing: but no one has any actual idea so it's confusing

imadignitary: Plus she's never even brought up a boyfriend.

nofraternizing: that too

tailieandproud: so now we get to try and figure it out?

nofraternizing: no i think she just wanted to confuse us

jojojosie: what the hell did i miss

tailieandproud: melanie has a boyfriend that none of us know although bennett is nowhere to be found so 

tailieandproud: bets on them dating? @javi

nofraternizing: oh they definitely are

imadignitary: I mean, they certainly act like they are.

missaofthenight: honestly i'm just offended she never told me or that i never figured it out

nofraternizing: eh neither of them ever told me either so

nofraternizing: hell i don't even think they think we know

imadignitary: So..we don't speak of this

tailieandproud: alright then

missaofthenight: oh we'll definitely speak of this but not until she tells us i guess

catlover: you guys are weird

catlover: but i like it


	7. crack?? is that what you smoke??

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I'm back! For no reason other than my chaos has returned.

missaofthenight: anyways who's coming over 

catlover: you know i am 

imadignitary: When??

missaofthenight: there'll be board games and alcohol and shit

imadignitary: W h e n

tailieandproud: sure i'll come

missaofthenight: starts at 10

missaofthenight: it's tonight

wishiwaswelding: Wait, what's tonight?

tailieandproud: ah, melanie, how's bennett? 

wishiwaswelding: Why would I know how he is, I was with my boyfriend..?

missaofthenight: anyways there's a party tonight, bring your own booze, try not to get sick on the carpet

foxyknoxy: Javi, Mel, and I will be there

nofraternizing: wait, no

wishiwaswelding: N o 

wishiwaswelding: If you make me go I'm making Lilah Folger go with me :)

missaofthenight: fuck no

foxyknoxy: Nice try Mels :)

wishiwaswelding: Goddamnit

missaofthenight: no folgers allowed please

missaofthenight: unless it's the coffee folgers

missaofthenight: in which case you have shit taste in coffee but it's allowed

nofraternizing: shut up folgers is good coffee

missaofthenight: community coffee is better :)

nofraternizing: no :)

tailieandproud: oy with the passive agressive smiley faces

fightforurfrigginmeat: can jinju and i come @audrey

missaofthenight: ooh of course

missaofthenight: but you gotta introduce me to jinju

wishiwaswelding: Damnit if Jinju is going I have no reason not to go

imadignitary: Be social for once

wishiwaswelding: make me <3

imadignitary: I will literally drag you by your hair to this party :)

wishiwaswelding: With friends like this who needs plot devices to fuck up my life


	8. it's ~pink~

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chaos Crew™️

wishiwaswelding changed I fucked up didn’t I to I Found Pink Wine

wishiwaswelding: Read the title bitches

wishiwaswelding: And can we please do the thing where we act like we’ve remembered we all have plans and then hang out at mine and get drunk off of box wine and watch bad movies 

nofraternizing: god yes please

foxyknoxy: Be social, you two

wishiwaswelding: Guess I know who I’m making out with tonight ffs

wishiwaswelding: But I found the super good boxed wine

wishiwaswelding: It’s pink

foxyknoxy: What flavor?

wishiwaswelding: Pink

nofraternizing: that’s a colour 

wishiwaswelding: No, it’s also a flavor and it is pink

nofraternizing: no???

foxyknoxy: Mel, no

wishiwaswelding: It’s fucking pink okay

Snowpiercer Dorm

wishiwaswelding: Is pink a flavor or a colour or both

catlover: yes

missaofthenight: both

tailieandproud: it's a color

jojojosie: pink is a color wtf

nofraternizing: i'm not saying i told you so but also i told you so

imadignitary: Pink is both

wishiwaswelding: I hate you all

wishiwaswelding: (Besides Zarah and Ruth) 

wishiwaswelding ---> missaofthenight

wishiwaswelding: Hey so I don't think the guys and I can make it tonight

missaofthenight: oh? is there a better party going on?

wishiwaswelding: No, just remembered I have dinner with my parents and those two have some engineering thing

missaofthenight: damn

missaofthenight: well it starts at 10 so that should be no problem

wishiwaswelding: It probably will be though

wishiwaswelding: Their engineering things take forever and god knows my parents are going to be asking tons of questions

missaofthenight: well the party will still be going, so

wishiwaswelding: Jesus christ

wishiwaswelding: The three of us can't come to the party okay

missaofthenight: hm, alright

I Found Pink Wine

wishiwaswelding: Annnnd we're out of having to go to Audrey's party tonight

nofraternizing: what lie did you use this time?

wishiwaswelding: I have dinner with my parents and you two are doing "an engineering thing"

foxyknoxy: Will it count as engineering if ropes are involved

wishiwaswelding: I mean, depends on what you're doing with them

wishiwaswelding: But a n y w a y s

wishiwaswelding: Come over about 6, that gives us plenty of time to get wasted and watch movies

foxyknoxy: Yes ma'am

Snowpiercer Dorm

missaofthenight renamed Snowpiercer Dorm to party time fuckers

wishiwaswelding renamed party time fuckers to Snowpiercer Dorm

tailieandproud renamed Snowpiercer Dorm to Snowpiercer (Party) Dorm

tailieandproud: you two act like toddlers

wishiwaswelding: Yes, and? 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Pink is both a colour and a flavor imo


	9. everyone is a little queer for fairuza balk

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yeeto

Snowpiercer Dorm:

missaofthenight: well now that everyone

missaofthenight: besides the three traitors

missaofthenight: are here

wishiwaswelding: Not traitors

wishiwaswelding: Just busy

missaofthenight: how the fuck are you even on your phone

wishiwaswelding: Currently I'm hiding in the bathroom

tailieandproud: that's concerning

imadignitary: What the hell

wishiwaswelding: Aww baby's first curse word

imadignitary: I've sworn before, you just were making out with Bennett.

wishiwaswelding: Okay I've made out with him one time because we were both drunk and watching The Craft

wishiwaswelding: And I thought he looked like Fairuza Balk and honestly wouldn't everyone make out with her if given the chance

missaofthenight: yes

tailieandproud: yes

nofraternizing: yes

imadignitaty: Yes

foxyknoxy: Yes

catlady: yes

jojojosie: y e s

wishiwaswelding: See my point?

missaofthenight: everyone is just a little queer for fairuza balk

catlady: it's true and you should say it

wishiwaswelding: Anyways I'm done hiding now so I'll be back in about two hours

missaofthenight: so who's up for seven minutes in heaven

jojojosie: oh sure

tailieandproud: why not

imadignitary: Okay so I’ve never played that

wishiwaswelding: Dibs on making out with Ruth

missaofthenight: you’re not even HERE and you have a BOYFRIEND 

missaofthenight: besides someone already called dibs even though THAT IS NOT HOW SEVEN MINUTES IN HEAVEN WORKS, PEOPLE

imadignitary: Someone?? Explain??

wishiwaswelding: Who called dibs, I hope they die

missaofthenight: that military kid nolan grey

wishiwaswelding: Oh I hoped he’d die long before this

imadignitary: Melanie, that’s very rude

wishiwaswelding okay fine >:(

tailieandproud: whipped

wishiwaswelding: I am going to hunt you all for sport (besides Bennett and Ruth and Javi)

wishiwaswelding: And NOW I take my leave

foxyknoxy: Ruth you’ve never played seven minutes in heaven??

imadignitary: Nope

catlady: Basically you go into a closet with someone for seven minutes and you make out

imdignitary: Oh 

missaofthenight: yeah ;)

missaofthenight: so come on it’s time to p l a y

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Part 5 of the “updated in a caffeine binge” series: I have a headache now send help


	10. and i do my gay little dance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> wishiwaswelding: For the record I did not sleep with Lilah Folger because that would be bottoming and I don't bottom
> 
> foxyknoxy: Oh and you're also gonna tell us you're straight
> 
> nofraternizing: and that you're actually a hospitality major

Snowpiercer Dorm

missaofthenight: so does anyone even know what happened last night truly or

wishiwaswelding: I feel the need to ask the same question

tailieandproud: i have no idea

foxyknoxy: No idea at all

nofraternizing: well at some point something happened and Lilah Folger ended up calling me which was weird

imadignitary: She's nice though

I Found Pink Wine

wishiwaswelding changed I Found Pink Wine to fuck lilah folger

wishiwaswelding: 'She's nice though' She's not nice when she decides to make your life a living hell!!!

wishiwaswelding; But that's just my opinion

Snowpiercer Dorm:

missaofthenight: damn someone changed the group name back

wishiwaswelding: :D

catlady: hey why am i in a closet

catlady: hey audrey why are you also in this closet

missaofthenight: what happens in the closet stays in the closet

imadignitary: No one here is straight though

missaofthenight: okay that's actually fair i don't think i'm friends with any straight people

jojojosie: me either huh

fightforurfrigginmeat: same

wishiwaswelding: Unfortunately I am friends with straight people but I'm working on that

catlady: you just give off disaster bisexual vibes though

wishiwaswelding: That is the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me

fuck lilah folger

nofraternizing: mel i can count on two hands that you've said that to someone when will you figure out what the nicest thing anyone has ever said to you is

wishiwaswelding: Hey hey hey fuck you

nofraternizing: right back at ya babe

Snowpiercer Dorm: 

tailieandproud: well everyone should probably be heading home if they haven't already

missaofthenight: ugh yeah

wishiwaswelding: None of us have even left bed yet I feel like you're already ahead of everyone Audrey

tailieandproud: ??? melanie explain??

wishiwaswelding: Oh I ended up going to Ben and Javi's after the thing with my parents for moral support

tailieandproud: what morals

fightforurfrigginmeat: AKSHDHKDJD

missaofthenight: JISKWJEOWI

wishiwaswelding: I hate you all

fuck lilah folger

foxyknoxy changed fuck lilah folger to I thought you already did Mel

wishiwaswelding changed I thought you already did Mel to mAYBE I DID WHO KNOWS

nofraternizing changed mAYBE I DID WHO KNOWS to use the fucking chat you two

wishiwaswelding: For the record I did not sleep with Lilah Folger because that would be bottoming and I don't bottom

foxyknoxy: Oh and you're also gonna tell us you're straight

nofraternizing: and that you're actually a hospitality major

wishiwaswelding: This is slander

foxyknoxy: No it isn't we don't have tails?? And don't sunbathe??

wishiwaswelding: Not salamander, slander.

Snowpiercer Dorm:

tailieandproud: so morning recap

tailieandproud: audrey threw an awesome party and woke up in a closet with zarah, melanie is friends with straight people and finds being called a disaster bisexual the nicest thing, no one is straight here

tailieandproud: am i missing anything?

wishiwaswelding: Fuck all of you

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Come yell at me @onetrainsnowpiercer folks


	11. merry daily crisis

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> merry crisis

Snowpiercer Dorm  
wishiwaswelding: Merry crisis fuckers

imadignitary: Merry chrysler

missaofthenight: merr chrissma

tailieandproud: what the fuck 

nofraternizing: no no n o 

fightforurfrickingmeat: ?????

wishiwaswelding: So what are everyone's holiday plans

missaofthenight: holiday partiesssssssssss

tailieandproud: going home to see Miles, the usual

tailieandproud: ....why are you asking

wishiwaswelding: Can't I have interest in my friends without having ulterior motives?

missaofthenight: no

jojojosie: no

tailieandproud: not in my experience

wishiwaswelding: Fucking hell I need to make new friends

tailieandproud: well if you have no ulterior motives

tailieandproud: what are your holiday plans?

wishiwaswelding: Classified information

foxyknoxy: Does classified information involve going shopping with Javi and I or not

wishiwaswelding: C l a s s i f i e d

imadignitary: Well if you don't have any plans you could come to Robert and Lilah's party with me

wishiwaswelding: I do have plans but they are classified goddamnit

foxyknoxy: Hey Ruth speaking of Lilah and Robert

nofraternizing: oh jesus

wishiwaswelding: Here we go again

foxyknoxy: When were you gonna tell us you were dating them? 

missaofthenight: ASKDHFF WHAT

tailieandproud: w h a t

wishiwaswelding: HOW DID YOU GUYS NOT KNOW THIS

wishiwaswelding: Why is everyone so fucking stupid

tailieandproud: mel you can shut up

wishiwaswelding: No<3

missaofthenight: AKDJHFODN M E L ??????

missaofthenight: DIDN'T YOU PUNCH THE GUY WHO CALLED YOU THAT

wishiwaswelding: Stop shouting, Audrey

jojojosie: so to sum this up i guess

jojojosie: lilah and robert and ruth are all dating, layton called melanie mel so are you two also dating, annnd is that it

fightforurfrigginmeat added oceanlover

oceanlover: Hey guys!

wishiwaswelding: Finally a sane person

catlady: ngl I'm offended Melanie

wishiwaswelding: You'll get over it

tailieandproud: who the fuck

wishiwaswelding: Language

tailieandproud: oh go suck a dick

wishiwaswelding: Already did that this morning so no thanks

missaofthenight: MEKENAI E H W A H T

oceanlover: Oh my god

imadignitary: I'm going to pretend I didn't read that

wishiwaswelding: Thank you dearest

jojojosie: so have we moved past merry crisis is it just a daily crisis now

wishiwaswelding: Yep

oceanlover: This is a daily thing? 

oceanlover: Actually that doesn't surprise me I've seen Melanie do Monster shots

foxyknoxy: There are so many things to say but that won't even cover anything

nofraternizing: i left for two minutes

jojojosie: you can't do that because everything implodes

tailieandproud: i wanna drink bleach now thanks melanie

wishiwaswelding: Merry fucking Christmas punks

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Merry crisis to those who celebrate, happy holidays to those of us who are dealing with that right now  
> Come screech at me @onetrainsnowpiercer


	12. new year new bees!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> hehehe bees in a car

wishiwaswelding: Happy new year fuckers

nofraternizing: oh damn melanie unlocked cuss words

missaofthenight: ^^^

imadignitary: Language, Cavill

wishiwaswelding: Make me, Wardell

tailieandproud: wait y'all have never heard melanie say fuck before

foxyknoxy: I have

missaofthenight: i feel like that would be a special event

wishiwaswelding: Audrey, you've heard me say fuck before, believe me

missaofthenight: ??? no???? that would imply you are around me enough to swear like that

fightforurfrigginmeat: happy new year guys!!!

jojojosie: happy new year :)

wishiwaswelding: Happy new year you two :)

wishiwaswelding: Audrey seriously you've heard me swear like that before

catlady: Happy new year!

tailieandproud: oh yeah happy new year

tailieandproud: josie had to remind me

foxyknoxy: Happy new year :)

wishiwaswelding: I will fight all of you with the bees in my car

missaofthenight: what

tailieandproud: what

wishiwaswelding: Okay technically it's my ex's car that has the bees but he'll still let me fight you with the bees inside the car

fightforurfrigginmeat: hey what the fuck

catlady: Why do you have bees in your car and how did you put them there

oceanlover: Oh it gets a lot worse than the bees in the car

fightforurfrigginmeat: babe please explain

wishiwaswelding: There's a strict rule of bee confidentiality

tailieandproud: that isn't a thing

jojojosie: ??? i mean okay i guess????

missaofthenight: melanie did you snort crack cocaine again i told you you shouldn't

foxyknoxy: AGAIN??

wishiwaswelding: New year new bees :)

wishiwaswelding: Also like half the people here helped me put the bees in his car I wasn't high or anything

oceanlover: It was a fun afternoon

foxyknoxy: A very fun afternoon

nofraternizing: that's how we found out i'm allergic to bees

catlady: so who's gonna help me put bees into MY ex's car

tailieandproud: please don't

wishiwaswelding: I'll gladly put bees into their car

tailieandproud: zarah please don't put bees in my car

catlady: but i kinda want to

oceanlover: I mean, it makes for a fun group exercise

missaofthenight: putting bees into someone's car??????

wishiwaswelding: Yes it's group bonding

fightforurfrigginmeat: do. do you wear the protective suits

nofraternizing: how do you think we found out i was allergic to bees

tailieandproud: so uh what are the takeaways from

tailieandproud: half an hour into the new year

oceanlover: It's a new year, Meanie snorted cocaine once, putting bees into someone's car is a group bonding exercise, annnd Javi is allergic to bees

missaofthenight: i'm gonna go drown myself in booze then brb

wishiwaswelding: Awww have fun

tailieandproud: i want out of this reality

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Snowpiercer day y'all!  
> Come yell at me @onetrainsnowpiercer


	13. back and body hurts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There are so many sex jokes I'm sorry

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Uhhh yeah tons of sex joke

wishiwaswelding: So like, do you ever just...think about how non traumatized people must have such boring sex

wishiwaswelding: Like if you're not getting choked out at knifepoint what's the point of doing it

tailieandproud: melanie elizabeth cavill

tailieandproud: what the fuck

missaofthenight: melanie you have a point

imadignitary: Why did this need to be said, what is the point?

nofraternizing: i don't know but this explains the blood i found one time

foxyknoxy: Oh that was mine

foxyknoxy: I accidentally cut my finger trying to cut a wire

oceanlover: Well as long as there's no blood when you swim in the ocean and you're careful with cleaning up blood there's really no big problem with it?

jojojosie: blood is sticky though :/

tailieandproud: it's sticky, it tastes bad, and it should be in your body and not just out in the open

wishiwaswelding: So basically blood is just red cum? 

tailieandproud: what the fuck

imadignitary: MELANIE

foxyknoxy: Oh my god

missaofthenight: why the hell are we discussing this

wishiwaswelding: Cause I brought up how non traumatized people probably have boring sex

wishiwaswelding: No offense to you if you're non traumatized, which oh wait we all are 

missaofthenight: you're right though

imadignitary: Okay not gonna lie that's fair

tailieandproud: i'm concerned

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Come yell at me @onetrainsnowpiercer


	14. time to do some sketchy shit do da do da

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> TW for pregnancy mention

wishiwaswelding: So who watched the commercials with the little sports breaks in between

missaofthenight: ah yes, the superb owl, 

wishiwaswelding: I feel like I learned a lot this weekend

tailieandproud: you asked me how many baskets someone could make in football

wishiwaswelding: And I learned you only make baskets in baseball

foxyknoxy: I wish I could say I was surprised

wishiwaswelding: I also learned that cheering when the other team scores is not appreciated, even if you're cheering for a negative on a test and not the football team

catlady: i mean, i learned that audrey can fit six chips in her mouth stacked together at once

wishiwaswelding: A very impressive skill

foxyknoxy: Don't you have to unhinge your jaw or something to do that

missaofthenight: like a snake, yes, but not exactly

imadignitary: I learned rich person alcohol is a lot easier to get drunk off of and also football is funny when everyone around you is drunk

missaofthenight: that is very true

tailieandproud ----> wishiwaswelding

tailieandproud: why were you waiting on a negative on a test?

wishiwaswelding: Do you really think I'm gonna tell you?

tailieandproud: you know i won't tell them

tailieandproud: unless you want me to 

wishiwaswelding: It's nothing, Andre

tailieandproud: you sure?

tailieandproud: you know i'm always up for a chat

wishiwaswelding: It was a pregnancy test. 

tailieandproud: oh shit

tailieandproud: just a pregnancy scare, or...?

wishiwaswelding: Just a scare

tailieandproud: is that good?

wishiwaswelding: I think so, yeah

wishiwaswelding: If you wanna come over I'm home for right now

tailieandproud: do you want me to?

wishiwaswelding: ...yeah

tailieandproud: i'll be over in a bit

Snowpiercer Dorm:

wishiwaswelding changed the name to fuck shit bitch ass cunt motherfucker

imadignitary changed the name to The Ninth Circle Of Hell

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Come yell at me @onetrainsnowpiercer and/or ask for cat pictures I have so many


	15. previously on group drama

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is Dramatic™️

The Ninth Circle Of Hell

imadignitary: So what is everyone up to tonight?

wishiwaswelding: Waiting for a punk bitch to respond to my text messages

tailieandproud: rude

wishiwaswelding: The world does not revolve around you, Andre

wishiwaswelding: And if it did I would not call you a punk bitch

oceanlover: Till's gonna pick me up for a date

missaofthenight: ooh fun 

imadignitary: Have fun!

imadignitary: Melanie, I don't understand why you need to use such language

wishiwaswelding: I've heard you say worse than simply calling someone a punk bitch

wishiwaswelding: And he is a punk bitch so 

use the fucking chat you two

wishiwaswelding changed use the fucking chat you two to Ohana

foxyknoxy: Aw Mel, that's genuinely sweet

wishiwaswelding: No wait that's autocorrect

wishiwaswelding changed Ohana to Punk Bitch Wilford

nofraternizing: how the hell did that autocorrect

wishiwaswelding: Long story

wishiwaswelding added josephrwilford

wishiwaswelding: Talk, bitch man, and answer my fucking question

josephrwilford: Language, Melanie

wishiwaswelding: Kiss my ass, dickhead

foxyknoxy: Well this is vaguely uncomfortable

josephrwilford: I didn't know you and Mel still hung out, Ben

wishiwaswelding: Jesus christ just tell me where you are and I'll find you, you're not giving me any answers

josephrwilford: Can't do that, sorry

josephrwilford has left the chat

wishiwaswelding: Hey do either of you have bail money

nofraternizing: well he's intense

nofraternizing: and no

foxyknoxy: Not unless an uncle dies or something

wishiwaswelding: Goddamnit

The Ninth Circle Of Hell

missaofthenight: so my boyfriend has abandoned me at our table and I now have nothing to do 

imadignitary: So who else has a boyfriend they aren't telling us about

missaofthenight: well Zarah knew about him

catlady: that is true, yes

tailieandproud: so who is he??

missaofthenight: oh, just a guy i met, he was at the bar one night and was really nice

wishiwaswelding: Did he just stand you up?? If he did I'll kick his ass

missaofthenight: he said he had some friends to go talk to

Punk Bitch Wilford

foxyknoxy changed Punk Bitch Wilford to Ohana

wishiwaswelding: I'm gonna find that bitch and kick his ass

nofraternizing: understandable, why

nofraternizing changed his name to science

foxyknoxy: Her lack of a response means she's probably finding him right now

science: or Audrey, which might be worse

foxyknoxy: Annnd she's ignoring my calls

science: hahahah fuck

Emergency!!!

foxyknoxy added missaofthenight

science: so, Audrey

science: if by chance a very angry Melanie Cavill comes up to you please try and avoid her

missaofthenight: why would melanie be here???

foxyknoxy: Well there's a long story there but if by chance she happens to be there please ignore her or just send her in the wrong direction

science: please

missaofthenight: you two are weird

foxyknoxy: Well we've known that

missaofthenight: see you later nerds

missaofthenight left the chat

The Ninth Circle Of Hell

tailieandproud: okay y'all are eerily calm tonight

imadignitary: Yeah it's kinda scary but it's nice that they're quiet for once

jojojosie: it just means that there's chaos in some other part of the country

jojojosie: i'd say state but i know at least two of them cross state lines for fun on the weekends

missaofthenight ---> wishiwaswelding

missaofthenight: we're going to talk after this, cavill. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Come yell at me @onetrainsnowpiercer


	16. and they were roomates!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You all know the vine

missaofthenight ----> wishiwaswelding

missaofthenight: so. 

wishiwaswelding: What's up?

missaofthenight: you and joseph and i. we need to talk

wishiwaswelding: Okay well if you wanna come hang out with us he's getting high and I'm gonna drink so 

wishiwaswelding: Which is probably more fun than talking about stuff

missaofthenight: uh

missaofthenight: sure do i have to bring my own stuff

wishiwaswelding: I have enough vodka for a group of drunks I think you'll be okay

The Ninth Circle Of Hell

wishiwaswelding: Hey motherfuckers

imadignitary: Language

wishiwaswelding: English but I can say it in French if you want

missaofthenight: do it

jojojosie: oh you two are back! did you do anything illegal

wishiwaswelding: Not as far as I know

foxyknoxy: Well then

missaofthenight: idk i don't think we did do anything illegal 

science: thank god

tailieandproud: great now will someone explain what's?? been going on???

foxyknoxy: I would explain if I could

science: same here but i ~don't know~

wishiwaswelding: It's a secret

Ohana

wishiwaswelding changed Ohana to Science Queers

wishiwaswelding: One of you come cuddle me please I'm cold and I'm home and a little drunk

wishiwaswelding: And you two are space heaters

science: okay but on one condition

science: no sandra bullock movies

foxyknoxy: Wait can we watch Speed

science: you two are the worst

wishiwaswelding: :)

wishiwaswelding: Can we DO speed?

foxyknoxy: Didn't you try that once and say it was shit

science: why would you do speed

wishiwaswelding: For the experience! 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Come yell at me @onetrainsnowpiercer

**Author's Note:**

> Credit to @wilfordindustries for the foxyknoxy idea!!


End file.
